A South African doctor has invented a female condom with spikes on it as a deterrent to rapists. CNN.com has posted this article about it. The idea, while a step in the right direction, could horribly backfire. We’re looking at people who commit rape as a crime of power, not a crime of sex or passion. It’s worrisome to think that a woman who has tried to protect herself by using this condom has also unintentionally given her attacker more reason to be angry and probably become more violent toward her.
While this is at least something in support of curbing sexual violence, it clearly misses the point. It puts the responsibility of preventing the attack on the woman and doesn’t address how to stop men from raping. This is perpetuating rape culture and the idea that the woman is to blame for prevention and provocation. The perpetrator will only have to deal with spikes on his penis for a few hours. The survivor will have to deal with the aftermath of the assault for the rest of her life.
Thoughts?
Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.
There are two basic terms people use when describing someone who has been sexually assaulted. The most popular is to identify the assaulted as a ‘victim’ of sexual assault. This follows a logical progression: someone has been victimized, therefore they are now a victim.
There are some people who hold with the idea that you are a victim until you have healed mentally, physically, and emotionally from the assault. In some cases, complete healing could take years. It’s a big step for a survivor to outwardly recognize that they have moved past the stage of being victimized and they are now growing and healing and consider themselves a survivor.
At the DCRCC, we look at it from a different perspective. We believe that if you have ever been assaulted and you have lived to tell the tale, you are a survivor. You have made it past the assault, and you have earned the title of ‘survivor’ rather than the depressing identifier ‘victim’. It takes courage, bravery, and strength to tell your story, and the Center’s mission is to support that journey every step of the way. We start by calling every man, woman, and child who walks through our doors seeking support a survivor, no matter what their story is.
Being a survivor doesn’t mean you experience fewer episodes of Rape Trauma Syndrome. Being a survivor doesn’t mean you are any less entitled to emotional and physical care. Being a survivor simply means that you are not letting yourself or your life be defined by your assault.
Identifying as a survivor is a major step in the healing process. Remember, the DCRCC is here to help. If you are in need of counseling resources, please call us at 202.232.0789 and a staff member will be happy to speak with you.
My name is Alyssa, and I’m interning in the administration/development departments here at the DCRCC. I’ll be updating this blog with relevant information about sexual assault from the news/media/etc., as well as blogging about upcoming events hosted by or raising funds for the DCRCC.
The DC Rape Crisis Center is a nonprofit organization in DC dedicated to creating a world free of sexual violence. We work for social change through community outreach and education, and legal and public policy initiatives. We help survivors and their families heal from the aftermath of sexual violence through crisis intervention, counseling, and advocacy.
The Center is committed to the belief that all forms of oppression are linked, and values accessibility, cultural diversity, and the empowerment of women and children. We provide individual and group counseling for adults and children who are survivors of any form of domestic abuse or sexual assault. We also have advocates on call 24/7 to meet a survivor at the hospital, police office, or court to provide emotional support for the survivor. Advocates can be reached by calling our 24/7 free, confidential, and anonymous hotline at 202.333.7273 and speaking with a counselor. The Center also provides educational programs, like sexual assault workshops or presentations, for the greater Washington community.
If you need any sort of assistance in the DC area, please call our hotline at 202.333.7273. For information or other non-emergency calls, please use our business line at 202.232.0789 and a staff member will be happy to speak with you. If you are interested in donating to the DC Rape Crisis Center, please visit the Network for Good page and fill out the online form. We thank you for your help!
Call us if you need to!
